Every now and then we are given a moment in which we feel completely shut in by everything around us and that we think that there is only one sure way to escape when in reality there are many avenues.
I had such a moment today.
I felt completely boxed in and that the only way I could safely negotiate my way out of the conversation alive and with some hope of becoming a teacher would be to agree with the other person.
The other person was my mentor... who has slowly become the one person I fear dealing with more than anyone else on earth. I would rather have a debate about the right to have nuclear warheads with Kim Jong than deal with my mentor.
It appears that when I get into conversation with her I forget my own welfare and what I want and I end up agreeing with her even when she's saying the most harshest things about me. Clearly there is something wrong with me. It still saddens me that I'm going through all this drama whilst everyone else is just focusing on creating their portfolio and looking and applying for teaching jobs.
She wants me to do another round of teaching because she stuffed up our timetabling in the last round... so therefore didn't see me teach any prac classes. So her comment to me was... "Well I haven't seen you do a prac class since May" I have done prac classes after that but without her in the room. So she has no idea how "competent" I am.
In fact she has told me she won't pass me until I do the extra round.
*goes on a swearing hissy fit rant for about 10 minutes*
I don't need this added stress along with the preparing of a portfolio and all that job application stuff.
At the moment I'm just working very hard at trying to prevent myself from having another bout of depression, because this would be the worst time to have it with everything going on and my future looking so uncertain.
Hopefully my uni delegates will provide me with an avenue that I couldn't see before because I need light at the end of this year.
cheers
L.J
I had such a moment today.
I felt completely boxed in and that the only way I could safely negotiate my way out of the conversation alive and with some hope of becoming a teacher would be to agree with the other person.
The other person was my mentor... who has slowly become the one person I fear dealing with more than anyone else on earth. I would rather have a debate about the right to have nuclear warheads with Kim Jong than deal with my mentor.
It appears that when I get into conversation with her I forget my own welfare and what I want and I end up agreeing with her even when she's saying the most harshest things about me. Clearly there is something wrong with me. It still saddens me that I'm going through all this drama whilst everyone else is just focusing on creating their portfolio and looking and applying for teaching jobs.
She wants me to do another round of teaching because she stuffed up our timetabling in the last round... so therefore didn't see me teach any prac classes. So her comment to me was... "Well I haven't seen you do a prac class since May" I have done prac classes after that but without her in the room. So she has no idea how "competent" I am.
In fact she has told me she won't pass me until I do the extra round.
*goes on a swearing hissy fit rant for about 10 minutes*
I don't need this added stress along with the preparing of a portfolio and all that job application stuff.
At the moment I'm just working very hard at trying to prevent myself from having another bout of depression, because this would be the worst time to have it with everything going on and my future looking so uncertain.
Hopefully my uni delegates will provide me with an avenue that I couldn't see before because I need light at the end of this year.
cheers
L.J
posted by L.J at 1:02 AM
1 Comments:
I'm sorry but I don't for cheap plugs in my comments section if you have an issue please contact someone who gives a flying
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